I was browsing through some digital photos from a few years ago and I found these! A mural that I painted for and expecting mom full of good ideas who just wasn’t sure how to execute them. I was glad to help her and she commissioned me to paint an outdoors theme. Wildflowers are growing all along the perimeter of the cedar picket fenced walls, it smelled so good in there! On the tree house door a banner reads, “No Boys Allowed” because she had several boys already and was expecting a girl. There’s a little miniature swing attached to the ceiling for a little stuffed doll to sit in. We moved away before I could get pictures of her baby in the room, but her name was Paris and she was a doll!

Yesterday I was able to get out of my head a little bit and go outside and plot some more garden plans. The fresh air did me a lot of good, the sun was out, the air was clean and crisp, finally! It must be spring! I went to a nearby nursery and walked around inside a giant greenhouse with my head spinning over all of the millions of plants and flowers. It was so hard to decide what to bring home! The cart started out with five deep red and white pansies and then some climbing jasmine that was on sale, and oh so pretty! But finally, I ended up with some ornamental grasses for the side for the side of the house. Not very exciting, but I will definitely be back for more.

Here is picture of what I spent most of the morning hacking away at, what I call the giant hairy monster. Why someone planted some beachy pampas grass in front of a cute brick colonial house, I will never understand. Slash marks all over my wrists and feet from the sharp blades and all, it was totally gratifying to take down the beast!

Lately I have noticed my wandering thoughts are desiring change out of my comfort zone. What doesn’t move begins to rust.

I used to think that the fidgety part inside of me was something negative, that nothing was good enough. But now I can see that my constant waves of restlessness can be a catapult to the new and exciting things. I recently read an article where a man was leaving his profession to pursue writing. Most of his co-workers advised against it, telling him that he was too old a dog to learn new tricks, that he was even foolish! To this he wrote, “Life is too long and too potentially wondrous to spend in one place, in one profession, in one interest. Commitments should be kept, most particularly those to family and to God. But we should have no commitment to rut or to routine.” I couldn’t agree with him more.

Things that I want, small and big.

Okay, I feel a little shy about posting that last one, because it seems a little silly? or even embarrasing, but it’s just one of those strange things that I want to do, a fun thing I want to try. I did have a modeling contract all in the works, jobs lined up and an agent…but then I chickened! and got out of the contract. Trust me, I’m not bragging here or anything, it’s really embarrasing to share, especially because I didn’t see it through. But I have always loved fashion and photography and everything that goes with that seems so exciting. My expectations are not to become some star, or even do it for long, just to try it and see. So I will try and see.

So every Thursday I watch our friend’s little sweet princess, Lana (rhymes with my favorite yellow fruit) and I have honestly never seen two toddlers play so well together. They are hilarious, full of giggles and like peanut butter and jelly. This is them during an impromptu sticker face decorating session. Lana is teeny tiny and petite, Max is big, boy and definitely her ringleader. He loves to entertain her by pulling faces and of course, getting as hyper as possible to get a good squeal out of her. It’s so funny to hear them interact by themselves because Max becomes this little boy and creates scenarios and rules that I had no idea existed inside of him. Today they watched the Incredibles and smashed homemade playdough (thanks for the recipe Grammy!!) that smelled like grapes.

It must be hard to be a toddler. Things brought to you on demand, 24/7. Hugs and snacks all the time. Nothing on the agenda is pressing, not even using the bathroom because that’s taken care of for you too. And the hardest part of your day? Having to take a nap.

What a grumpy day. This weather has completely boggled me, on and off chills and sunshine frills. Like spring is swining in and out of the east coast, like a terrible rotten tease.

Lately I have been stuck in a rut, like there is a no trespassing sign in my studio spot. So to keep myself going, I’ve been working on touch-ups around the house. At least my creative effort is going somewhere. The last of the super layered wallpaper is coming down on the stairway (and is such a mess) and a new chandelier is going up in the breakfast nook. Fresh white paint being added to windows and trim all over the place. Little boxwoods have been planted out front, I am praying for their survival. No wonder I want to escape the house sometimes!

This weekend we had a good getaway with friends and I had a lot of tiem to think about the things I am happy about in the car ride. I also received the best advice journal all the way from australia! I am only the second one in line, so I have an idea of how long this may take to see the entire beautiful turn out from everyone and I can’t wait. Guess this will force me to break out of my rut!

you are seeing a sneak peek at the spring version of my site~what do you think? its been rainging and snowing here off and on and i need something to make it feel like spring! this weekend i will be away, i feel like my blog is getting so neglected, it’s strange having this habit of writing and then not being able to use it for a whole week! so some thoughts i’ve been mulling over~until i come back…

how do you burrow into a style? without neglecting all the other ways of creating? how do you choose which lines to pursue and which ones to ignore? i have assumed that it just takes practice, but i feel like i have been “practicing” too long. like i’m waiting for something to find me and beginning to realize that maybe i am supposed to find it myself. this is something so personal, i don’t expect anyone to really tell me how. but maybe seeing others mode of finding a style would help me to get comfortable with mine. i feel like i am in that shrinking mode.

music is as ancient as it comes, right? (for this week’s illustration friday.)

sometimes i just have bad days, artistically speaking. like today, i had to leave what i was working on and just wait. wait wait wait for my better moments to come back. my creativity is like a rubber band, moving swiftly through a few days and snapping into the next. sometimes it gets stretched too tight and i forget that i need to just let go and start over fresh. enjoy the downtime. get away from the house, from the project, the painting and the pencils.

i know this must sound totally crazy, but cleaning really helps me get back into my creating mode. clearing space in my environment seems to open my mind and release all the tension i feel when my paintbrush runs into a snag. it’s free, totally appreciated by the boys in my house and there’s no guilt afterwards. (like impulse shopping or chocolate.)

i wonder what everyone else does when they need a break?

just read this somewhere and it made me smile…

“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head.” Martin Mull

here’s another great fallen-out-of-the-pages-of-an-old-book-find. does this happen to anyone else? old letters, postcards, receipts and paraphernalia? this one is so funny.

today i made the phrase “spring cleaning” my middle name. created a village of cars and trains and little people in max’s room. some laundry. tore down, scraped and sprayed off an entire garbage bag full of old wallpaper off the stairway. started the next stuffed monster (the first one needs a friend.) snuck in some time in the studio and began oil painting. ran outside for a burst of fresh air with max because the sun came out and i couldn’t resist. read fashion magazines on the backyard lawn, daydreaming in the idea of spring clothes and runways, pastels and crisp happy looks…until wads of grass (okay, weeds) strategically get thrown on me by almost 3 max which then began the ultimate grass fight.

husband comes home with a mitsubishi eclipse spyder, the cheapest rental we get to have until our old corolla gets its guts worked out at the garage. driving with the top down, a trip to the grocery store suddenly became glamorous. drive max in car shaped shopping cart to pick up soy tacos and ice cream for dinner. sang songs, shared tickles and finally tucked in and traced my toddler face with imaginary paintbrush finger. then haircut for husband, some dishes, vacuuming and sorting of things and the day has finally ran out. tap tap tap ta-da!