merry christmas everyone! we’re having a wonderful time here in seattle…relaxing, enjoying delicious food and each other. hope that everyone else is feeling as toasty warm inside as i feel today!

thanks for all the recommended reading everyone! for the flight, i have some vonnegut that i haven’t gotten around to yet (timequake) and some fluffy magazines to fill my insatiable desire for fashion. oh! and marcus put martha’s new book on my ipod, it will be my first ebook experience. (i enjoy reading the ole fashioned way so we’ll see.) poor marcus woke up with a cold so i we’re popping the vitamin c like you wouldn’t believe. max loves airborne! dad, thanks for calling this morning, now im even MORE excited to come home…is that possible? to everyone else who’s traveling, be safe and have a beautiful day…and you’ll hear from me after we land home.

raking the leaves until my nose turns too pink and we retreat indoors under warm quilts and hot chamomile tea+honey. a giant city elephant trunk vacuum comes and sucks the giant leaf piles our neighborhood makes in the street. and the last leaf sucking day comes and goes while we’re on our trip. now our lawn is all ready for snow…*hint hint* to the sky…

thinking of some last minute good tiding gifts. maybe these will be nice as pins, added to cozy hats or coats. they’re fun to make while watching christmas movies under aforementioned quilts.

we are so being spoiled by my friends and neighbors with wrapped presents and homemade treats galore, Mmm. it’s so good to be loved! and to give back.

still a few more presents to wrap and oh! packing our bags full of warm sweaters and santa slippers. a few more loads of laundry and before we know it, we’ll be flying home to see everyone!

ps. can anyone recommend a good book for the flight from east to west coast? i’m thinking fiction, something light and maybe funny? or something deeply meaningful, just no sad endings. recommend!

quite obviously sad. i’m sorry. i don’t like to share the sad. but the lady miss susie is just so great. stealing is not nice.

max is trying on a happy accident, the nose warmer! i was teaching my friend how to crochet hats and this was her first attempt. instead of getting frustrated, she added a tie to the silly result and now we have yet another way to goof off. max is good at goofing off. wonder where he gets that from…

i just can’t get enough beauty. see more.

ever feel like a lone reed, standing tall, waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce (er, art) ?

well. every week in my inbox some newsletters arrive from the painter keys with insight, encouragement and words that satisfy the independent artist. i was pleased as punch to soak in these thoughts mister genn wrote:

“It’s been my observation that artists who allow
themselves to be dependent on others don’t thrive in the same
way that the independent ones do. Part of the reason is that
dependent people often don’t seem to have enough time for an
inner life and private curiosity. Furthermore, it looks to me
like the independents are the most alive, the most
experimental, and often the most productive. Some of them are
quiet, but they are not bored, nor are they boring. In the
words of journalist Ellen Parr: “The cure for boredom is
curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

feel better? me too.

my sister-in-law has opened up her shop!
if you have a little one in your life and need
a last minute gift idea, you cannot
go wrong with her gorgeous quilts, check it out!

At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

somehow i want to prove this to everyone. on an individual level. through some means of art~a mixture of words and visions in paint. does everyone know this about themselves? or think on the possibilities? or do they have this incredible self knowledge “at bottom” and just forget over time? the thing for me is not having this idea of being a unique self…it is what to do with it that boggles me. restless. desire to finish what i begin. settle in the idea that i may die ordinary. but no one else would be that same ordinary ever again…

and the wait for snow begins. let it snow was on the three radio stations at once the other day. three. i just want to taste snowflakes for christmas.

i said a little prayer in the car that i would know if this was right for me. getting dressed this morning, i wanted to be just me. and i promised myself that i would only go through with the whole thing if i felt right about it. my nerves from last night had somehow disappeared as the appointment time came close, and as soon as the modeling agent invited me into her office, my doubts completely vanished. not only did all the details fall into place, but they were even better than i imagined. very part time work schedule, i can be picky about what clients i work with, and they were actually excited to see me. i have my lucky redhead stars to thank for that one, because they don’t already have a girl with my look. i drove home laughing and singing to christmas songs.

i guess most people in my situation of getting over a paralyzing fear would say, “i don’t know why i didn’t do this sooner!” but this couldn’t have happened at a better time in my life. the modeling opportunity is amazing yes, but even more is that i no longer live in my regrets. i can look back on this and say i didn’t completely give it up. i tried again. and so far it’s more than i imagined, easier than i anticipated. yes, it is so wonderful see all the things we can be. thank you everyone for your good cheer, encouragement and little pushes (you know who you are!)